Hello! And welcome! In case you are new to my writing, you will quickly learn that I am exceptionally long winded and it may take me a while to get to my point. If you are looking for that specific piece of the puzzle, you could probably just skip to the end. On the other hand, if you’d like a peak into my brain, thoughts and life, devour the entire thing. 

And also, if you are new, you may not know about what I consider to be some of the big bullet points of my life. What I’m hoping to communicate here is why the path I have traveled has led me to want to work with families on adventures (or living them daily!) to capture the NOW. It’s only here for a moment, so let’s remember and savor it.  

Ok. Let’s proceed!

What would you say if I told you that this perpetually smiling, obsessed with vibrant colors, most often a happy creator, baker and cat wrangler also lost both her mother (Martha) and fiancé (Murray) by the age of 25? 

Life can be tricky. Life can lift you up and also disappear from beneath your feet. Life can leave you raw or make your heart flutter. We all know these various feels and some more intensely than others. 

Of course I know other’s have much more pain and hardship in their life. I am not someone who believes ‘woe is me’ or ‘I am more broken than thou’. We all have moments of unbearable pain and blinding happiness. What I do believe in is that what you do with your ups and downs is what carves you into the YOU that you are, for better or worse. 

I can’t imagine walking the road I have without a smile on my face. It’s just not in my genes to NOT smile. You could ask anyone who knows me OR knew my mom. And I say that because I have honestly lost count of how many people say I look like my mom when I smile. Or how many teachers or even strangers have commented on my smile. 

One of the BEST compliments I ever received from a stranger was from a rather slow moving, gentle soul of an elderly man who would come into the brewery I bartended at. He had come in a few times before and after taking his order, he called me back to his table. He said, “You know, you have a smile that could turn a frown upside down. Don’t change a thing. You are special.” 

And at that same brewery I was stopped by another table and asked if I had attended the exact middle school I had attended. I was shocked and couldn’t place the woman asking me. It turns out she was the LIBRARIAN who had noticed my smile 15 years before and said she would never forget it. I find that absolutely incredible since I think of me as just me. The cat lady who loves avocados. 

Ok, so if I’m constantly smiling, does my grief look different? Yes and no. You could read THIS post, THIS post or THIS post to get a bit of a feel from years gone by. To this day my life still has grief because I don’t feel like it’s something you ever get OVER. One of the wisest things I heard after Mur died was that the pain would never go away, it would just get softer. That is exactly what I’ve felt and what it still feels like. I think of those 2 every single day. I have intentionally displayed things in my life that make me think of them. I never want to NOT have them in my life but I also don’t crumple up with the pain any longer. At least not on a regular basis. I have my days, for sure. I think everyone who has grieved/is grieving (depending on how you personally wish to phrase that) have THOSE days. But I am thankful that I can get out of bed each and every day feeling ready to tackle the exciting things ahead. 

And THAT, I believe, is because after Mur died I changed my tune to ensure my life turned into exactly what I wanted it to be. I was no longer willing to do what I was supposed to do, according to a prescribed instruction manual. I no longer had aspirations of being wildly financially successful (if it meant not doing something fulfilling). I no longer saw myself having a house with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, a dog and 9 cats (ok – the cat thing is a possibility, still). My life changed that day in September of 2011 and there was no going back on it. 

So what did I do? I spent a year and 1/2 trying to stand on my own two feet with my heart in pieces. I then quit my job and decided that traveling and adventure was my NEW way of life (I say this with a sweeping hand gesture that suggests grandeur, possibilities and excitement! You know the one). I did that off and on for 4 years while coming back to the great state of Minnesota long enough to high-five family members, snuggle my cats and make enough money to keep doing this life. I would then move back out into the land of airplanes, foreign language and food outside my comfort zone.

And in every place I went, I felt like my slate was clear. I had no baggage that anyone knew about. I could divulge what I wanted. I could create a new story. Of course I was honest, but I was also intentional. I would talk about how amazing my mom was, or my best friend and previous relationship. I would discuss my background in art and adventure. And when I got to know these kind, generous people who welcomed me, I would often elaborate on where those special people were these days. Besides the immediate apology for my loss, it was almost always followed with, “wow, you seem so happy!” I was. In each of those homes and situations, I really was happy. I had found my recipe, went after it and was living my life of adventure. There were countless times that I looked up to the starry night sky, out a train window, or into a city of lights and thanked Mom and Murray for their love and support that had allowed me to get to where I was.  

It’s a special relationship one has to loved ones who no longer inhabit this earth. We want to advocate for their life and memory. We feel hurt when people dance around the topic of them. We miss the silly little things that made up the day to day like a salad for dinner every.single.night or using paper grocery bags as trash bags to save money and hopefully, the planet. 

I recently was talking about my photography work and passion for it with a friend. A friend who not only has known me through some growing years, but also knew Mur from college and onward. I told him about my love of taking photos of people to live in the moment, to appreciate today and to savor who you are choosing to spend time with, because after that moment has passed, you can never get it back. When I explained my thoughts, he said that was an interesting way of looking at it because he always felt melancholic looking at photos. I thought THAT was interesting. How could someone think that!? I had always loved photos and viewed even snapshots from before my time as something like historical art, but after losing my mom at the age of 11, they became much more. The images of us together or those taken during my life became like time machines. They would transport me back to that exact moment or even that day. That picnic. That bath. That dinner. That birthday party. And it was a way for me to further hang onto the mom who no longer made and ate a salad every single night. 

When I started dating Murray I joked with him that his family was going to LOVE me because I presumed that as a 4th born, there were likely limited photos of him growing up. This is in comparison to me, an only child, with a crate full of scrapbooks. I set to work rather quickly and took gobs of pictures of him and us. We were together for 7 years and I don’t know how many hours I have poured over the catalogues of images to try to feel those moments over again. Iowa Hawkeye football games, nights out, our new apartment, our new cats, adventures in Mexico, Germany, Minnesota and Iowa.   

For a while, with my business, I was about photos of pure joy. Who doesn’t love dogs and cats? And fun photos of them bounding around in beautiful light doing their animal thing? Fabulous! It is channeling the innocence in life which is guaranteed to make everyone smile (unless they hate creatures …) And I still absolutely LOVE animals (just ask The Mr about The Girls) but once I moved to a new home, to create a new life with an old yet new family, I fell in love with the idea of combining all the things that have really made me into me and giving it back to people. 

Landing in a town and in a home where I can see the mountains of Yellowstone whether lit by sunshine or moon, it seemed like an obvious choice to turn my photography to the adventurous families that visit this beautiful space. There is such excitement surrounding these folks. Being in Gardiner and Yellowstone might be a dream come true, a celebration of years gone by, a boat load of firsts for everyone OR maybe even all of the above!

Life is magical and special and can be hard and icky. But it is critical that we remember those blissful moments even if and when they are clouded by pain and grief. They help shape all of us. 

I absolutely LOVE what I do. It brings me JOY to be able to give families a piece of themselves and their happiness in printed form. Hang it up, send it to Grandma, show the inter webs how much fun you are having! As the days go by, let these images transport you back to the adventure. Let it remind you of the arguments in the car over who gets the last chicken nugget. Of seeing your first wolf. Of smelling real mountain wildflowers. Of getting hangry on a hike that mom said was supposed to only take an hour. Of soaking in a REAL hot springs. 

And why not capture and remember these feels? Bottle it up like fireflies on a midwest evening.

If this long winded explanation for why I feel so strongly about documenting adventures with your family and friends has made you curious about what specifically I offer, please check THIS page out.

I would LOVE to meet you, share in your joy and give you something magical in return; a souvenir to treasure for always.